Life goes on

Yesterday started as per normal.  Waking up at 6 plus to feed and change baby.  Showering and getting breakfast ready, then waking Junior J up and getting him fed.  Everything was running like clockwork until Baby J decided to do a mega poop, and in the midst of my changing him, did another BIG one, which landed all over the cot mattress.  So I tried to clean up as best as I could, cleaned up the fretful baby, and continued feeding Junior J (while trying to feed a crying Baby J).  I was worried about Baby J's next nap since the mattress was all poopy, so I thought I'd give a call to my mum to see if she could just come in a little earlier (she usually reaches around 9 plus 10) to give me a hand with the mattress.  Mum was at the market and said she'll come by when she was done.  I said OK, and continued feeding both boys, and managed to settle Baby J down for a nap on an extra mattress.

Then everything just went wrong.  Mum came in, let herself in as usual (she has a set of our keys) and flung open the door, then proceeded to shout at me for not opening the door for her, saying I was lazy.  I just tried to ignore the shouting, since I was still busy feeding Junior J and trying to eat some breakfast myself.  Then the shouting went on for another 10 minutes about all sorts of things, which was followed by her banging open my room door.  Baby J got startled and woke, and started screaming, so I carried him and tried to continue feeding Junior J.  Then she said Baby J "would have woken up anyway, since he probably had a nightmare", and continued with her insults and complaints.  At the top of her voice.  That was when I simply lost it.  After trying to bite my lip and stay silent for 3 plus weeks, and hearing all sorts of remarks implying I was good for nothing, while I struggled to manage 2 small kids, something in me just exploded.  So I started yelling too.  Suffice to say I asked to stop confinement, and that I didn't need her help anymore.  And she left.  And since then, I've been on my own.

I do feel sorry for losing my temper at her, and I plan to apologize once things have cooled down.  But I must admit that while managing everything (with the hubby's help when he's back after work) has been tiring and busy, things are way more peaceful and less stressful.  And contrary to all her remarks that I cannot cope on my own, I have.  And intend to.  And in retrospect, it was probably good that her time is freed up, since now she has to host her sister who is visiting (and going by the past visits, she would be very busy and stressed about that).    

So life goes on.  Thank you for those who've been encouraging me to just hang in there, I guess we'll just have to move on from here.  And in fact, we managed to have a relatively fruitful day today:

Lunch was a little mishmash, but Junior J happily ate everything.
And insisted on spreading his bread himself.

This was supposed to be a carousel, and the animals on it were helping
to guard his alphabet sandwiches.  

We've been doing a lot of reading together since Baby J seems to be almost
permanently stuck to me, and now Junior J has taken to reading to his little brother.

After dinner art: Trying out foam stamps and learning about facial expressions.

After lunch make-believe: Painting turned body art session.
He's a whale shark and those are his spots. :)

And I know, the past few posts have just been so dreary.  Thank you for popping by while I ranted, but I promise, no more complaining!