I met an old schoolmate in church the other day, and learnt that she was expecting twins! She said she was scared, because she wasn't sure how she was going to manage. However, she also shared about how God's timing was good: her husband didn't have to travel as often as he usually does during her first trimester, when she was battling bad morning sickness. And while there were lots of questions and worries, I was encouraged by how she was willing to trust God to bring her through.
And as I reflected upon our conversation, I was struck by God's good timing, especially in the area of parenthood. Being a parent is tough. You have to care for a helpless infant that is totally dependent on you. Being a mother, you would have to battle sleepless nights, work out feeding issues, change countless diapers even when you are so tired you can't see straight. Then they start growing into toddlers and your heart stops every time you see them take a fall. There are the issues of disobedience, of hard-to-feed fussies, of fevers and visits to the emergency department, of tired nights soothing night terrors or little ones who still need you to comfort them every three hours. And then later they become teenagers and you get another whole new lot of challenges. Some nights you lay in bed thinking if you've messed up your kids, and wonder how on earth can you bring up these little ones well.
It is not easy. But then I also saw how God had timed it all: giving us our fussiest baby later, when we had the experience of caring for two babies behind us. When we were more or less settled back home in Singapore, instead of when we were in Germany. With Junior J we struggled with feeding, with getting him to sleep, with reflux. But that was when we only had one child and had a little more time to sort these issues out. Lil J was the easiest in terms of sleep and feeding issues when he was a baby, and that coincided with our move overseas, when we were on our own most of the time.
As we struggled with various issues of parenting, God provided various friends who were also going through similar issues, and we could keep each other in prayer. When we started exploring the idea of homeschooling the kids, He provided a community of other homeschooling parents, some who were also just starting out. On tough days, there is always some respite: a hug from Junior J, surprise happy mail, some silly joke from Lil J. Some days may be really crazy (they say you're not supposed to cry over spilt milk, but there are days spilt milk really makes me want to cry. And yell.), but I know He doesn't give me more than I can bear.
All in all, this week has been a tough week. But He has provided, and He will continue to sustain, and for that I am so thankful.
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